Belle’s Neighborhood

Haven't felt so loved for awhile. Reminds me too of a couple of weeks back, of the acceptance and love I felt at my new family's place. It's a knowing that I'm loved unconditionally. My walk with God has been 10+ years (12 to be exact). My struggles have often been an emotional one. The constant trying to be a good light for God, to bless, to love, to show kindness, to serve with the right attitude. But with just a careless angry word, less-than-excellent attitude at work or ministry, the blessings and testimonies, fall flat on my face. In trying to be that perfect Christian, and more than often times I have fallen short, a sense of guilt, anger towards myself creeps in and shakens my confidence in standing in the presence of God. And there is the self-consciousness that demands a rational response rather than an emotional one, though for me, it is often through the latter that the Lord ministers. It becomes a wilful heart that seemingly rejects even the great love of the Heavenly Father. Which is true, living with a quarter tank is a drag. For with a quarter tank, I can't love, be kind, gentle, patient. I can't love before receiving the full tank of the love of God, and presence of the Holy Spirit. Because of a quarter tank, there remains a 3-quarter tank, room for fear, insecurities that creeps in...

Then the Heavenly Father says, let Me love you. An open invitation from heaven.

Leianne has reached the age whereby she is beginning to exert her will, and test her limits with us. Her way to show her discontentment is screaming and rolling on the floor, which is unacceptable in the Chan family.

We still have not used the cane on her yet until she reaches the age of maybe 2 or 2.5.. so the only method now is the put her in her cot, without her usual soft toys behind close door when she starts to throw her tantrums. Well, it works... after about 5 minutes, she will cool down and we will bring her out to resume her normal activity...

When we visited Ben and Glen yesterday, there was a comment that even though I'm the one who discipline her more often nowsadays, she is still very close to me.... which is a very interesting behaviour. Maybe a child understands the biblical principles that love = discipline more than those who are grown ups?

Its amazing that I actually have time to write this blog but I must to give all glory to the Lord.

Its a long story, if you would bear with me.....

The biggest blessing He has given us is Lucas sleeping through the night(from 1030pm to 7am).... right before the lunar new year at the turn at his ninth week on last friday..... well, we are expecting him to sleep through but didn't know that it will be that soon... so far, average for boys is about 10 to 12 weeks. This is a tremendous blessing to us as we are able to rest properly at night for the past 4 days. Lucas is also able to sleep on the move and that helps us in getting around the visiting although we still need to plan the visits properly for his feed.

With that, we may be able to delay sending Leianne to playgroup. The intention of sending her to playgroup is to give Belle space and time but with Lucas sleep pattern now... guess she will have enough rest to cope with the two in the day. If she doesn't go to playgroup, it will save us about $400 a month! Praise the Lord!

Thank God also for Leianne's recovery from her illness which caused her to vomit and have diarrhea. She was also hospitalised due to fits induced by the diarrhea( or thats what the doctors said). Our hearts ached seeing the IV on her little hand and her immobility for 3 days due to that. Its good to see her in her usual cheery mood and hear her laugher at home.. she's such a blessing to us. She even learnt how to say a few more words.... two that please many are "gong xi gong xi" and "yee por".... because she has 3 "yee pors" and therefore, it pleases their heart hearing the little girl address them...

My sister, bro in law and niece also joined us this lunar new year... Its great to have them since my sis has not been here in Singapore with us for years! Little Keira has grown to become an active little toddler running around with her clasped hands to ask for ang baos... so clever....

Perhaps C-ness (as in DISC profiling test) is not in my DNA. A few weeks back, I lost my wallet - think it's at least the 2nd time. For the record, I had lost my hp 3 times thus far in my lifetime.

ANYWAY ..

Yep, this is a thanksgiving posting yet again! Let me recollect the details and give all glory to Jehovah :)

Lost my wallet in Marina square level 1 toilet. Right. Went to the ladies before lunch with colleagues at MOF. Placed my wallet right there on the toilet roll holder/cover. And you guessed it, I forgot to take it and went on happily for lunch.

1.5 hours later, when it's time for the bill .. *gasp* where's my wallet? Well, it was all but too late. Wallet's gone. Toilet attendants have not seen it. No wallet returned at the info counter. I had wanted to cry! A thought came to me, that just that morning, I wanted to leave some cards behind, esp my IC, and driving licence. I thought of not carrying so much cash with me, what if I lost my wallet? Strange pre-warning for what's to come? I just felt that God is in control. Since surely God knows that I would lose my wallet that day, God could also get it back for me.

I did the necessary. Called ALL the banks. Man, why did I sign up for so many credit cards? But they are a small deal compared to my IC - it would have costed me $300 for a replacement. Other than that, is $40+ cash, some member discount cards ... even went to make a police report.

Almost 2 weeks has passed. It's a Saturday. I woke up past 12 noon. What a great sleep that was ...  on retrospect, I needed that for the impending 'crisis':

1. Washed up, read the newspapers ... decided to just surf the ICA website to check out the procedure to apply for IC. Btw, I'm  starting on my new job the following Monday.
2. Lo and behold! There it is written, for loss of IC, I'm supposed to report personally at ICA within 2 weeks! ICA closed shop already by then. Man, why did I wake up so late? Which means, the deadline for making IC is on the Monday when I'm supposed to start my new work!  Thoughts raced. Anxiety levels up. How to report for work on Day 1 and request for timeoff .. erm .. to make IC?
3. Ploughed further through the website.. payment by NETS only. Great. I don't have an ATM card yet - cos I used my credit card as my ATM card , and there was some hiccups in getting the PIN sent to me. I still have my ATM card at home , but yes, I had long forgotten the PIN. Arrghh! 
4. Might as well get a replacement done for driving licence. Cost = $25. But need to go down to UBI Traffic Police department to do. Need a photo also. But I only had 1 last IC sized photo with me! 
5. Ok.. why don't I settle the ATM link first. Called POSB hotline. No way I can get the credit card and ATM linked by Monday. An alternative is to get a new ATM card from one of the branches. But at that time, most branches are closed already. Nearest is Funan. Cost = $5.
6. It is a CRISIS! Stress levels extremely high. Called Kelvin who suggested lending me his ATM card .. we are meeting to go for a friend's wedding that evening. The rest, can settle on Monday. Possibly try to skip a staff event on Monday to go down ICA.
7. Ok, go develop my photos first. Needed the photos to be ready in an hr cos need to be at wedding. Photo shop man says not possible. Negotiated for 1.15 hr.
8. Just when I reached home, a postman came to my door. He got a registered mail for me. Pretty small parcel. Hmm, I was expecting a much bigger one .. thinking it's the Coach bags from US. Opened it, and oh my goodness! My cards! All of them, including my IC, driving licence etc. There was a handwritten note. Someone had found my cards in a cubicle on the 3rd floor toilet ... and decided to mail them all back to me. She apologised for the delay as she has been caught up by work. I was so so thankful and touched to tears at that moment. The 'crisis' just solved itself. No need to make IC already :) Someone else has taken my cash and my old Braun Buffel wallet. But I'm just thankful to get my IC back! Later, I got a new wallet - complimentary from Kelvin :)

All along, God has heard my prayers and has already answered them. Just that the answered prayer was taking time to reach me. Yet again, God has come through for me - at the deepest point of my need. THANK GOD!

If there's anything I've learnt from this episode, it's to HAVE FAITH and TRUST GOD. And also .. to take care of my belongings!

Lucas Chan joined the Chan family on 29 Nov 2008. Thank God for a smooth and safe delivery. Today, he's 2 weeks old and I want to share the joy this Christmas with friends and relatives who have been concerned for us and sticking with us through the years.

Auntie Amy especially is a hit to the family. Leianne loves her "yee por" to pieces. She will buy for for us, cook for us during Lucas week one as the confinement nanny has not arrived then... play with the little girl, bathe her and put her down to bed. Thank God for her who gave her time to take care of us and we are very grateful to her.

Mummy has been helping out too... she comes by almost every night to check on us and help us with Leianne.

Now is time to plan for the the full month celeration! The day will likely be 27th and 28th due to our big families and circles of friends. Lets pray for a great time of getting together... a celebration of life - one that Christ has given.

Meaning of his name:

Lucas - Light Bearer

Chinese - Jun Xi. My mum seems to be obsessed with the middle name of Jun. We get to keep Xi, which means light in mandarin. Its the same Xi used by one of the Qing Dynasty Emperor, Kang Xi. Our prayer is that Lucas will shine for Jesus, like that of light.....all the days of his life.

I thank God for being my Jehovah Jireh (My Provider) and Jehovah Shammah (The Lord who never leaves me nor forsakes me). 2008 has been a year of miracles for me. Many prayer requests. Many were answered. A year of trusting in God's provisions especially for wedding preparations and job search.

>> Wedding Preparations

1. Christian housing agent and seller - This is our prayer. Our desire. To work with people of the same faith and whom we are comfortable with. We managed to get in touch with Glynis, our agent through Jiahui as they are in the same tribe/cell group. Our home seller, Andy, is a Christian and he even declines a higher offer to sell his flat to us. Even more thrilled is the fact that the flat has been occupied by Christians since Day 1.
2. Flat at AMK - AMK is our first choice for location. Near town, and proxmity to MRT and amenities. We took a long while to look for our flat, 4-room. Think we have visited >20 units over 8 weekends? Started off in AMK but the either the COV is too high, or the flat is too far from MRT station. Decided to go for 2nd choice - near my current place - and even open to consider 3-room. In the end, God blesses us with a 5-room flat in AMK, within walking distance to MRT and amenities, and within our budget. We were praying for low COV (<$20k) which is rare in this market. God more than provides for us - our COV is only $5k!
3. HSBC home loan - Our home loan interest rate is pegged to SIBOR which is exceptionally low during this period. Thank God! And we also received a $400 Taka voucher because of some promotions.
4. Banquet at Park Royal - It was quite a last minute decision to book a hotel banquet. But we managed to book the last available Saturaday and at wedding show prices. Park Royal was also our first choice as the food has been tried and tasted to be good - according to Kelvin's 2 times experiences. Aside, we were blessed by Yuan Chang who did the hard work of compiling the list of hotels which helps us in our planning and budgeting.
5. Bridal package from Sattine -  Sattine is located along Tanjong Pagar road with a whole stretch of pretty up-market bridal studios. We are recommended to Sattine by Kelvin's friend who had a good experience with this studio. We just popped by Sattine one Sunday evening after church and was surprised to bump into Jimmy - the owner and Kelvin's ex-hall mate. He normally don't come down on Sundays but that day, he just decided to pop by. And he gave us a good package with preferential rates without us bargaining - and of course we signed on the spot - our first and last stop of bridal studios.
6. Photoshoot - Exceptionally fine weather that day. The past few days were cold and wet. The photographer, assistant, driver and make-up artist were all commenting that we were 'lucky' to have that kind of weather ideal for photo-taking. The photographer even took extra shots for us as the weather was simply to good to be 'wasted'. We also got good photographers for the actual wedding day shots. They will be taken by Kelvin's ex- colleague's husband - reputably good.
7. Diamond ring - We got a wholesaler contact from Kelvin's colleague. Very good price for the same quality. Good service. Aside, Kelvin actually did the marriage proposal twice. Blessed by his humilty and efforts to want to make me happy and feel loved. 'Lovers' Daily', a rose, romantic dinner, brownie with ice-cream and fireworks.
8. Holy Grace - This is the church off Upper East Coast road which we will use for our Holy Matrimony. We like the space and enviroment. Thank God for an available date as the church is quite popular for wedding bookings. On the day of church hunting, we were blessed by Pastor Luke from Marine Parade Christian Centre with a prayer for our wedding preparations. Were reminded of the importance and the need for prayer even we go about doing the preparations. 
9. Honeymoon at Australia - The exchange rates are too attractive to resist Australia as a honeymoon destination. To top off, Kelvin is able to use his KrisFlyer miles to redeem for Business Savers tickets :)

>> New job at AVIVA

I prayed along with the cell group for this job. Initially I was still hesitating whether this is a good move amid the current financial/economic climate, and whether there will be too many changes for me during this period of wedding preparations and transition into marriage life. The process took about 5 months to complete and in between, I got another offer but I turned it down. The final offer from Aviva came after this and is well within 4 months of my wedding day. I feel that this is an answered prayer from the Lord and I accepted it after much deliberation and discussion with various people. I committed to the Lord 2 short-term concerns I have: whether I'm entitled to marriage leave in Aviva and whether I can still get the long service incentive from Income. The first is answered as the answer is Yes even though I will still be under probation in March. The second one, I'm still praying for that miracle :)  

There were many happenings in the past month... the most significant being the passing of 2 person closed to us, in the church. One was 16 and the other 41. Both happened in a week. One of the reflection I have is that death is going to hit every single person... like what SP says all the time. " The statistic of death is 1 in 1". Yet, sometimes, I realised that we focus so much on unimportant things... The context of what I am writing is w.r.t work... we scrutinised numbers, went into heated discussion about how much money the project is worth to us, the office politicings etc... sound familiar huh?

I guess when death strikes... we bring away nothing of our earthly achievements and wealth accumulation. What do I want my life to count?

On the other hand, we also had the EM GDOP(Global Day of Prayer) on the 31st Oct. We had senior leadership of the corporation joining hearts with Christians all over the globe to pray for our organisation. It was a glorious moment how God united our hearts to be praying with brothers and sisters in other parts of the world.... Houston, Fairfax, Shanghai, Nigeria, Doha, Hong Kong, Taiwan ,Thailand, UK, Malaysia, Panyu, Calgary and Singapore. The EM GDOP was a vision God has given to the late PK, 3 years ago... even though she has gone home to be with the Lord, the seed that she has planted is beginning to bear fruits... The bible says," He who believes in Me, even though he dies, he lives" and surely, what it means is that the work in the Lord continues to "live" on.... just like when Abraham believed God, the nation of Israel was only established 400years later, which lasted till today.... because Abraham believed.

One of the quote that I always find meaningful is from the movie, braveheart.... "Every man dies, but not every man really lives"

How then are you living your life? 

Just back from an evening jog. It was a purposefully one. I needed to let tomorrow's gkids lesson go through me and hear God speak to me. The lesson centred on this: If you want to be great, you must serve others.

2 parts here: (1) To be great; (2) Serve others

I spent some thoughts on the meaning of "being great". What kind of greatest do I want, and what kind of greatest is God talking about? I think the biblical context on "greatest" is about being honoured by God. It's about being favoured by God, everything that we do is prospered by Him, God is pleased with us and He answers our prayers. One example is Elijah: The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. Wow, sounds like a good deal. Am I game for this kind of greatest?

James and John asked Jesus to let them sit at His right hand and left hand in His glorious kingdom. They wanted to be honoured by God and said they were even willing to suffer to be great. The Lord says in the bible, "I will honour those who honours Me." Ok, so the order is this: we honour God first, then He will honour us. The order is reversed in the concept of love: We love because He first loved us. God loves us first before we love Him. But He desires that we honour Him, before He honours us.

This brings us to the next point: How to honour God? By serving others.

Jesus came not to be served but to serve. He gave up His life so that others can have eternal life. I thought, if we are really 'blur' about what God wants us to do, or how God wants us to live, we should just look at Jesus. God sent His Son to model a way of life for us. He does what we sees the Father doing. So we follow Jesus, we would have followed God the Father Himself. God wants us to live on earth, simply to serve others. *gulp* Humanly I'm thinking, then what about me? Well, God says, you honour Me, I will honour you. *double gulp*

I see serving others is not about serving mechanically or robotically. It's about serving out of a love in us that compels us to do so. Without love, all the serving accounts to nothing. Worthless. Rubbish. As I was jogging just now, I confessed that sometimes, things just get routine. This week I teach, next week JY teach *yeah*. You know that kind of feeling. Next week no gkids *double yeah*. Ok, I think I got the point across. Just have to humble myself and say, God, please top me up with Your love so that I can channel Your love to the kids and those around. It's back to love God with my heart, soul, mind and strength, and love my neighbour as myself.

Part of the lesson plan is also to share about Amy Carmichael, the missionary from Ireland, who went to serve young girls in India, who are dedicated to the gods and forced into prostitution to earn money for the priests in the Hindu temples.

A familiar quote:

Today I learnt another one:

While serving in India, Amy received a letter from a young lady who was considering life as a missionary. She asked Amy, "What is missionary life like?" Amy wrote back saying simply,

Quite heavy going stuff to blog on a Saturday night.

From biblegateway verse of the day:

 "I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints,”- Ephesians 1:18

Hah, if I am to name the best highway in Singapore, I will lift up both my hands and legs that its none other than KPE. I even considered if we should move to Telok Blangah in 5 years time.

KPE- Kallang Paya Lebar Expressway is the newly opened highway that connects TPE to ECP almost parallel to CTE. The entrance into the expressway is only a cool 2+ minutes from my carpark along TPE towards Changi airport. The longest underground tunnel in SE Asia can bring us to ECP in a mere 10 minutes even at the speed limit of 70kmph.

The expressway is still very much underutilitised at this stage since its opening about 2 weeks ago. However, I have been using it to get to church in Marine Parade,  Suntec City, Marina Square. Our outing choices have opened up big time and within 2 hours, we can have dinner and do some shopping before getting back home for Leianne's nap/sleep.

On friday, we used it to get to Suntec via Nicol Highway and reached at about 7pm after LA's dinner, we had dinner at Kenny Rogers, followed by grocery shopping at Carefour and guess what, home at 9pm! Yesterday, we hit the expressway again, this time to Marina Square after LA's lunch at about 130pm, we shopped at John Little and discovered a "Children's Land" at one corner of Marina Square which we have never set foot on before and bought a set of Lego blocks for LA. I even had a Carls Junior Burger before we left at 345pm reaching home at a cool 4pm. Wow!

Thank God for KPE! If any punggolites have yet to explore options available with KPE, well, there are many... try it and you will find out more.

Captain's Winning Penalty Against OM

The Liverpool team has not disappoint this year... unbeaten from the start in the league and Champion's League. Last weekend, we destroyed arch rivals Manchester United at home and swept OM aside away from home. Many believe that there is a real chance of bringing the English Premier League title back to Anfield. Thats the way to go Liverpool..... Keep up the good work!