Haven't felt so loved for awhile. Reminds me too of a couple of weeks back, of the acceptance and love I felt at my new family's place. It's a knowing that I'm loved unconditionally. My walk with God has been 10+ years (12 to be exact). My struggles have often been an emotional one. The constant trying to be a good light for God, to bless, to love, to show kindness, to serve with the right attitude. But with just a careless angry word, less-than-excellent attitude at work or ministry, the blessings and testimonies, fall flat on my face. In trying to be that perfect Christian, and more than often times I have fallen short, a sense of guilt, anger towards myself creeps in and shakens my confidence in standing in the presence of God. And there is the self-consciousness that demands a rational response rather than an emotional one, though for me, it is often through the latter that the Lord ministers. It becomes a wilful heart that seemingly rejects even the great love of the Heavenly Father. Which is true, living with a quarter tank is a drag. For with a quarter tank, I can't love, be kind, gentle, patient. I can't love before receiving the full tank of the love of God, and presence of the Holy Spirit. Because of a quarter tank, there remains a 3-quarter tank, room for fear, insecurities that creeps in...
Then the Heavenly Father says, let Me love you. An open invitation from heaven.
主的应许: “你们所遇见的试探，无非是人所能受的。神是信实的，必不叫你们受试探过于所能受的。在受试探的时候，总要给你们开一条出路，叫你们能忍受得住。 ” (《哥林多前书》10：13）
I had so much fun in helping up with Momo's ROM day( my best friend in high school). She really gave me a lot of freedom in decorating the wedding venue.
Found this photo in Belle's blog. Like it....
why i was being cut off during my visit in NUH and this sat in G12 conference? Once my phone simply refused to function and all i can do is to put that in silent mood; the other time the phone was blocked from receiving any sms. Reflecting upon these, there are two things God is speaking to me:
Today i thought of making something for moment, end up i did something which i think is more about myself.
Later at night, Jing qiu visited me with food. She was really God sent. Thank God for her :)
Leianne has reached the age whereby she is beginning to exert her will, and test her limits with us. Her way to show her discontentment is screaming and rolling on the floor, which is unacceptable in the Chan family.
We still have not used the cane on her yet until she reaches the age of maybe 2 or 2.5.. so the only method now is the put her in her cot, without her usual soft toys behind close door when she starts to throw her tantrums. Well, it works... after about 5 minutes, she will cool down and we will bring her out to resume her normal activity...
When we visited Ben and Glen yesterday, there was a comment that even though I'm the one who discipline her more often nowsadays, she is still very close to me.... which is a very interesting behaviour. Maybe a child understands the biblical principles that love = discipline more than those who are grown ups?
Its amazing that I actually have time to write this blog but I must to give all glory to the Lord.
Its a long story, if you would bear with me.....
The biggest blessing He has given us is Lucas sleeping through the night(from 1030pm to 7am).... right before the lunar new year at the turn at his ninth week on last friday..... well, we are expecting him to sleep through but didn't know that it will be that soon... so far, average for boys is about 10 to 12 weeks. This is a tremendous blessing to us as we are able to rest properly at night for the past 4 days. Lucas is also able to sleep on the move and that helps us in getting around the visiting although we still need to plan the visits properly for his feed.
With that, we may be able to delay sending Leianne to playgroup. The intention of sending her to playgroup is to give Belle space and time but with Lucas sleep pattern now... guess she will have enough rest to cope with the two in the day. If she doesn't go to playgroup, it will save us about $400 a month! Praise the Lord!
Thank God also for Leianne's recovery from her illness which caused her to vomit and have diarrhea. She was also hospitalised due to fits induced by the diarrhea( or thats what the doctors said). Our hearts ached seeing the IV on her little hand and her immobility for 3 days due to that. Its good to see her in her usual cheery mood and hear her laugher at home.. she's such a blessing to us. She even learnt how to say a few more words.... two that please many are "gong xi gong xi" and "yee por".... because she has 3 "yee pors" and therefore, it pleases their heart hearing the little girl address them...
My sister, bro in law and niece also joined us this lunar new year... Its great to have them since my sis has not been here in Singapore with us for years! Little Keira has grown to become an active little toddler running around with her clasped hands to ask for ang baos... so clever....
